A Letter to God

Dear God..

I hate this moment so much. A moment when I can find nobody who understands me. The more I tell the world about what happened, the more it seems that every part of the world is opposing me. Well..they are not opposing, but yeah, nobody can make me feel like I have chosen the right way. And sometimes, God, I just need time for myself, with nobody else, but only me and my prayer, and You.

Sometimes, I really would like to get angry. I'm mad of everything happened. I'm mad of this condition.

I'm tired of having to understand someone when the person doesn't even try to understand me. I'm tired of having to act good to people when they don't even try to act good to me in return.

I know I shouldn't be like this. I should try to be good to everybody. But how can I? I am only an ordinary person, God. I can't really control my emotion. I get mad whenever I want to. I easily say I hate people. But deep in my heart, I never really hate people. I just dislike the ways things go wrong. I dislike the ego human beings have.

Simply there's nothing wrong about ego. It's a normal thing everybody has. What is wrong is when the ego controls every cell of our body, making us keep thinking ways to bring ourselves to the very front row of priorities, forgetting others, even our very best friends. and I dont even know why some people are acting that way.

Thank you God, thank you for being with me all the time. Even when I have nobody, I know I still have You. You are my Lord and I'm blessed because I know You love me. And with Your love, I'm not gonna fail on anything in my life :)

When I was sick

This time I would like to share a bad thing happened to meeeee.

Yeah, so sometimes when bad things come, most of us will be depressed. We will think God is no longer with us, no longer guiding us through this life. But, believe it or not, He always has a way to bring us to a better life :)

So these are what really happened to me this few months..

I GOT SICK. Yeahh a terrible sickness. I had done bedrest for about two weeks, but just then I found myself not getting better. Hell yeah, what a sickness that was..

First I was hospitalized here in my hometown of Jambi, where I spent my everyday with my family and friends. HAHA. But after few days being hospitalized, I didn't find myself proceeding to a better health.

So I went to Malaka, Malaysia for a medical check up. I then found that I got a problem about my immune system. yeah antibodies I mean.. There, I was hospitalized for few days, then was given medicine by the doctor to be taken everyday, and asked to be back there again for a check up a month later..

My mom didn't really believe that I got that sickness. So we continued our 'tour' to Singapore, for once again a medical check up, hoping that we would see a good result of my blood check saying I'm finee, free of any sicknesses. But that wasn't what happened. Dreams and reality are sometimes not the same, aren't they? HAHA. So yes, I was said to have this shitty sickness.

Nobody wants to be sick. And so do I. I hate being sick. But what could I do at that time? My whole body was so weak, I got difficulties even to do things on my own. And those things really irritated me!

Soooo, there in Singapore, I was hospitalized, again. For a few days, again. I forgot how many times I had been there these few months. I kept finding myself sick, sick, and sick.

What is worse, I had to cancel joining the NSDC (National Schools Debating Championship) because of this sickness. I couldn't get out of the sickness on time, therefore I had to cancel this competition. Oh God, why is life so unfair sometimes ? I had given all my best on the last province debate here in my city Jambi, and finally I got the second rank, second position, which actually enabled me to join the NSDC in Jakarta last May..

But everything had to be cancelled due to this sickness. I was broken. Yeah I cried. I shared to my mom, to my friends, but none of them could really help. It's only me who really understands how it felt like...

Somehow, I knew there's a rainbow after the rain. No rain, no rainbow. No sorrow, no happiness. So I tried to be strong, and now here I am! In a much much better condition. Thank you God, for teaching me a new lesson in this life. Now I know how to be strong, even though it's hard, but I will show to the world how strong I really am. And I know He is planning an even better way for me to walk through :')

well.. it's time for BEDTIME STORIES

so so so.. I've just finished watching a movie.. a damn great movie.
Yeah it's BEDTIME STORIES.
hmm, it's a product of disney, and it has a really interesting story. And I'm obviously sure that you won't regret watching it. Besides, what will regret you is that if you don't watch this great movie..
so here, I'll share some pics of it. and about the whole movie, well I suggest you to watch it by yourself, soon. really soon, after you read this. and if you do not want to, well then that's your business not mine. but please don't blame me because i've told you how great this movie is.. *apaseehh gajee gilaa gw

well here they are..

*jill and sketter (if im not mistaken :p) they're cute heyy*



*it's the cover of this film.. but I guess in some occasions, there may be different pics on the covers, just like this one : *

about the videos belowwww =D

so, I've just shared 2 videos from youtube.
the main star of the video is my uncle's friend. Her name is ce Yohana.
watch the video, I highly recommended it to be watched by all of you. HAAHAHAHA.
:D

Huang Tu Gao Po - Yohana - Wang Rou An 王柔安

Xiang Jian Hen Wan - Yohana - Wang Rou An 王柔安

HOLLY-DAY

hey babyy. it's H-16!!! 16 days again.. argh only 16 days again..
I'll have a vacation to Bali.
yeayyy can't wait! can't wait! =D